Happy Monday to you, fellow women and womxn! This week we’re talking about reshaping our lack of confidence. I’m definitely walking this journey with you and raising my hand about this, too. None of us are alone and we’ve all seen how it can be challenging at times to navigate our professional world with varying levels of confidence at work.

So, let’s have a conversation about a couple of ways that confidence can be expanded upon. While these are just two methods that I’ve tapped into, there are many more that will work for you, too. I’ll also admit that if things are feeling too overwhelming, I come back to these. To some these may not feel like a direct way to build confidence or “go kick-ass,” so to speak, but they could be foundational work for overall change. Sometimes it’s not as simple as just going out on stage if you’d like to be a motivational speaker or starting a new job ‘cause you said so. Let’s dig into these methods a little bit more and start to chat about baseline actions so you can get where you want to go.

Out with Multi-Tasking and In with Intentional Work

Multi-tasking. Mindless busyness. Shiny Object Syndrome. And more.

I think so many of us get distracted from “the goal,” or even finding much-needed peace, and we just keep slogging away. Or, we may believe and feel that this “has to be done” to get anywhere in life. But what if we are avoiding something pretty critical that could need doing? What if we’re avoiding The Thing that could build us up and help us start fresh?

I think that some of the wisest advice I received years ago was to track my time. It was when I was in a full-time job in academia and doing full-time in a Ph.D. program. I usually don’t talk about this time in my life with many, but what I do want to say is it taught me about time observation. Yes, I was building confidence by going through a Ph.D. program, but in what? For what?

Nowadays, I [try to] reflect on what the outcome truly is that I want and need for my highest growth. And while it may sound simplistic, it’s been worth paying attention to what tears me down or lifts me up and you can do this, too, friends.

Imagine continuing to do things that tear us down… Multi-tasking for “nothing” or running around trying to figure out what makes us tick. Sitting down, paper and pen in hand, may help to engage in this thoughtful process. Do you only have twenty hours a week for yourself or your family? That was my life at one point… Where are you at? And it’s ok to be honest; we need to be honest.

When we can look at our activities and how we do things with honesty and care, plus a desire for change and growth, that builds confidence almost silently. There’s no need to be a badass right now, no need to go bust doors down. Sitting with ourselves is intuitive and second nature. In marinating on how we may avoid what we want or need to do, to better ourselves, we can repair our future trek and learn from our past. Reflect. Love. Re-focus. Adapt.

Calm the Body and the Mind and Our Strengths Can Shine Through

I’ve already said this before, but our spirits and souls are wise, y’all. Our egos are, too, but in their own survivalist way. I also know I’ve mentioned this in other posts, but when we can calm our bodies and minds down a little bit, we can get grounded. It’s in our grounded space, our sure-ness, we can focus and get clear.

I’m not sure what your comfort is with meditation, mindfulness, or other centering activities, but have you ever felt yourself go from small to expanded? If so, what was going on? How did you go from feeling meek to feeling uplifted? Was it reframing or mindset techniques? Was it moving your body? How about prayer or being in a circle with loving, supporting folks and losing track of time?

The Spin Game can be a little hellish sometimes. I’ll admit to you, my mental energy tends to be active, always-on, and I’m pulling information in what feels like all the time. Overthinking, analysis paralysis, and more, have been my reality for years and years. But the bonus to going through this is seeing the other side. When there’s some ray of hope or sunshine, despite all the input and noise in the outer world, confidence comes in the grounded middle. I won’t say that problems just fall away, like leaves in the Fall, but… they may soften. After worries soften, they may seem more bearable or you can see your strengths more clearly to tap into so you can get over the speed bumps of your work.

Let’s Talk: How Do You Build Your Confidence?

Coming back to our workspaces, or the jobs that we do and the roles that we play, confidence can build from many avenues. It doesn’t always feel like a light switch, something you turn on and off. Suffice it to say that we can keep expanding ourselves, even when scared out of our minds, via:

• Experience
• Practice
• Fearfully taking a step forward into an unknown thing through action(s)
• Love the Inner Child or Egoic Self and be the adult that they need.
• Seeing the Sage inside yourself, your Wise Self

It’s “quite easy” to just sit back and not take some steps in our lives because we’re freaked out. Been there, done that, Beloveds. When we think about not doing things, because we aren’t sure what’s going to happen, it can freeze us up. Though, what if the strides we make as women and womxn help us help others? What if we help ourselves grow past decades of behavior or choices in one conversation? One choice? Or a set of actions that take us to our next level? I believe it’s possible, and I’m here with you even if you’re unsure about your confidence level right now. That’s why we’re here, together.

FSW started because of living life more fully and it’s grown because of real, honest conversations. These were conversations I even needed to have with myself, truthfully. If you’re craving more connection and support, join the FSW Circle and you’ll get more direct communications. Prefer the FSW Quiz to do your own homework first? That’s cool, you can find it here. As always, if you have questions, here’s how we can communicate 1:1, or feel free to leave a comment below to add to this conversation!